Serendipity Directed by: Peter Dave's Rating: D convinced that Hollywood needs to manufacture a miniature John Cusack doll with a pull string on the back so the lovelorn and recently broken hearted can receive dating advice without having to see another one of his "fool for love" movies. The SAY ANYTHING doll, which comes equipped with a tiny boom box to hold over his head, a guilt trip, and a milk crate of records, will say, "I'm a predictable movie" with each pull of the worn out string. They could include a coupon inside for 25% off the purchase of the Meg Ryan "Sally is Sleepless in Seattle with Harry while checking her e-mail" doll, which comes out in a new version every two years with the Tom Hanks "I need a paycheck to make a TV mini-series" doll. Films like SERENDIPITY try to look from the outside as a fresh, new outlook on the perils and pitfalls of trying to find one's true love, and how much fate plays into finding that special someone. It's a tested and true formula that is simplistic and works with the right films, such as ANNIE HALL, WHEN HARRY MET SALLY, and SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE to name a few. These films have replay ability because there was an actual on-screen chemistry between two people, followed up by a script that added realism to romance. Situations like those played out in SERENDIPITY are so implausible that the film ends up being more ridiculous than memorable. What you've seen in the drone of commercials and movie previews for SERENDIPITY is exactly what you get, and nothing more. It's another film where the production company putting the film out has not even an ounce of confidence the film will get seen unless they let audiences see all the best scenes of the film three months before it is released. If you haven't seen the preview for SERENDIPITY, download the trailer off the Internet and save yourself $7. It's a simple setup for a simplistic film made at an elementary level. Boy meets girl. In this case it is Jonathan Trager (John Cusack) and Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale), who meet while fighting over a pair of gloves during a Christmas shopping frenzy in Bloomingdale's (is there a more romantic place to meet?). They end up eating ice cream sundaes together at where else but the trendy New York City restaurant called Serendipity (fate or product placement?). The two play off each other quite well at first, and there seems to be a spark trying to light a fire as a Hollywood Snow Making Machine follows the two around town and continuously bombards them with fake snowflakes. One can't help but notice that while Jonathan and Sara act giggly in the snow, people standing only 20 feet away aren,t being snowed on at all. The two lovebirds Jonathan and Sara go ice-skating, because it's cute on screen when people ice skate and exchange glances. Then they each jump on separate elevators at a hotel and agree that if the two elevators meet at the same floor, it's fate that brought them together. They may as well play paper, rock, scissors or try to guess each other,s weight, because like every plot point in this film the outcome is overtly predictable. As our two fated lovers screw up their destiny, the old familiar subtitle "a few years later" pops up on the screen as both Jonathan and Sara are making preparations to get married, just not to each other. Sara is set to get hitched with the lead singer of a Kenny G meets Disco Duck sounding band in which he also plays the pan flute (the band provide one of the only funny elements of the film), while Jonathan,s wedding is less than a week away. SERENDIPITY tries unsuccessfully to upstage itself by dragging the dead weight of fate into almost every scene of the film. A few years has passed since their NYC moment, but miraculously Jonathan and Sara become engaged at the exact same time and both decide to find each other for one last fling at the exact same moment. Call it ESP on part of the screenplay if you want, but suspension of disbelief even becomes unrealistic for the audience early in the film. Fate seems to pull these two together, but can,t seem to place them in the right place at the right time. Fate also allows the film to run 90 minutes too long as well. Both Jonathan and Sara are accompanied on their search by their best friends, (Molly Shannon and Jeremy Piven), who attempt to give life support to a film that is DOA. Shannon and Piven's comic gifts, along with the dependable Eugene Levy, are put to waste. John Cusack, an actor who usually can make even a mediocre film watchable, sleepwalks like an overpaid zombie through this entire film. He's never looked more bored on purpose in his entire acting career. Hopefully SERENDIPITY is a self-realized memo for Cusack to take a break from relationship films, especially ones tailored made to please a pre-supposed naïve set of film watchers. The director Peter Chelsom (who made the wonderful 90,s gem FUNNY BONES), must be given credit for continually speeding up the pace of the film. SERENDIPITY is filled with pretty faces and locations, and Chelsom seems to be a great director of snow falling in warm looking weather. There are several pointless flyover shots of New York City while Jonathan and Sara try to locate each other. The director wants it to be a "Where's Cusack?" type game, but I kept wondering "Where's the obligatory meet up scene we knew was coming from the get-go so I can get-go from the theatre?" Luckily I caught this film at a free sneak preview, but I still came out of the film feeling I had lost something and checked my wallet for lost time and money.
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